Review - Butchered at Birth

Oh, Cannibal Corpse, you sicken me so. The first thing that clued me in on your existence was the cover to "Tomb of the Mutilated", which didn't exactly make me want to run out to the store and buy your new album. I've heard many mixed reactions from both critics and regular people alike on these death-metal maniacs, but the few things that I've heard have not impressed me in the least. I finally decided to sit down and listen to one of their albums in whole. While Butchered At Birth may be 18 years old (Yea, they've been around that long), from what I can tell, the critics think it's their best album (And they didn't like it that much), so I figured I'd give this one a shot.

It's a thirty-six minutes that I'd kill to get back.

I heavily question what the hell these people were smoking when they decided to write these songs. When I saw the title of the opener, Meat Hook Sodomy, I was turned off. My media player has a lyrics app that automatically found the lyrics, and I attempted to read through them with the song. While doing this, I came across two strong issues:

1. These lyrics suck. Every single song on the album - and probably all of their other albums as well - are all about disgusting acts of murder and violence. The band claims that they're all songs that could easily be turned into a horror movie. But, seriously, if I wanted to hear something violent and horrific, then I'd go watch a horror movie, not listen to a metal album!
2. I was often thrown off while reading the lyrics with the song by the fact that their vocalist doesn't seem to know what multiple syllable-words are. Even if they're written in, the ear sore-causing roaring skips over the last syllable in any word that has more than one. Seriously.

There's pretty much only one thing outside of vocals that can be taken into account on a metal album: Instrumentals. I have never, EVER, heard a more sorry excuse of guitar and drum playing. Every single song as an opener that gets my hopes up ever-so slightly, but then they fall like a rock. Why? Because after the semi-impressing opening, it resorts to "NUHNUHNUHNUHNUHNUHNUH" on the guitar, and the classic, "SNAREBASSSNAREBASSSNAREBASS" pattern on the drums. I'm not kidding, it's like that on EVERY. SINGLE. SONG. After the first three songs, one really, really can't help but want some variety in the instrumentals... or the vocals, for that matter.

Please, don't think I went into this without an open mind. I hated Cannibal Corpse before I listened to this, yes, but I really did try to give them a chance. Well, I did give them a chance, and they failed. Miserably.

TL;DR: Generic instrumental noise and disgusting lyrics make for an absolutely pathetic performance. Don't buy this. Ever.

Noteworthy Tracks:

• None. They're all awful.
  

The Local Flare - Violetta

Violetta is a band that formed in Columbus, Ohio, a mere twenty minutes from my small town home. When you first see their lineup - a group of four guys and a female vocalist - your first thought is probably "Oh God, another Paramore rip-off." Let me tell you, they're anything but that. Violetta is undoubtedly one of the most impressive groups I've heard to date, both on record and live.

I have seen them twice, once at their first public show at a club in Columbus, and again this Wednesday at a surprise performance at Away Band Camp (For the note: Their lead guitarist, Austin Covey, was a fellow trumpeter who graduated last year), both were incredible impressive performances.

Their first and only EP, Are We There Yet?, shows just what the band is made of. It features four tracks, all of which are a thrill to hear. Lead vocalist Brooke Weirick powers through the album with a voice that easily rivals that of Evanescence vocalist Amy Lee. No kidding, she's that good. The guitarists all move with her vocals, and Austin rips some amazingly impressive solos. Of course, we can never forget their drummer, and he plays his part wonderfully, keeping the beat in a fun and interesting way, and does some impressive work with the bass.

You can purchase Are We There Yet? on iTunes for $3.96 (excluding tax), and I highly suggest you do that right now. They're a band that any Alternative Rock fan needs to check out. You wont be disappointed.

Violetta links:

MySpace

Twitter

My Top 5 Album Covers (For Now)

Oh, the essential album cover. It's quite possibly the most important part of an album outside of the music itself. It's the one thing that can make someone browsing the local music store go, "Hm... this looks interesting. I think I'll buy this," and end up putting fifteen more bucks in the artist's pocket. Always nice. I, personally, cannot stand to go without the album artwork being displayed on whatever media player I'm using - on or off my computer. So, I'd like to visit some of my favorite album covers, and why they captured my interest to the point of listening to the album.

#5 - The Black Parade

My Chemical Romance's third album was definitely their best work, and it had the oddest covers of the three. The little Skeleton-Drum Major dude was rather a cheerful guy, considering he was dead. The inside covers look even stranger, and the way the tracks are listed on the back is creative and unique. It's a little misleading, as I wouldn't expect an album with that guy on the front to potentially save my life with it's awesomeness.

#4 - Godspeed On The Devil's Thunder

I'll be blunt: I have no fucking idea what's going on here. Cradle of Filth's eighth studio album makes as little sense as it's cover, but damn does that cover catch your eye. The five-faced dude in the center, and the numerous monsters and disturbing children surrounding it make one creepy-ass scene.

#3 - Ultra Beatdown

While many criticize Dragonforce for the fact that all of their songs sound almost exactly the same: It's fun music. Their 2008 release, Ultra Beatdown, features that armor-clad chick with the huge-ass gun. Guns and boobs, what else do you need to make customers - at least male ones - pick up your album? I know it grabbed me. This was a fantastic album, too.

#2 - Year Zero

Trent Reznor (A.K.A. Nine Inch Nails) may quite possibly become one of the most influential figures in modern music. His daring acts, such as releasing his last album for free, have led him not only to the top of the headlines, but also to the top of the sales charts. Year Zero, the album before his free one, was an extremely impressive endeavor. The strange alien hand-thing coming from the sky that holds the spot on the cover is complicated, and makes... pretty much no sense. But it's cool to look at.

#1 - Crack The Skye

To put it simply: I love Mastodon. As I explained in my review of this album (previous post), their bizarre mix of different genres brings an amazing sound, and some of the most impressive things we've seen from metal artists in the last decade. Crack The Skye's album art caught my attention from the moment I saw it heading their MySpace page. It's colorfulness and bizarre artwork well represents the album itself, and confuses you, just like the album. Were I looking at this in a store, even if I had never heard of Mastodon before, I still would have bought this album simply because of how crazy it's cover was.

... so, that's it. For the record; I'm gone at band camp till Thursday. So no posts until about Friday, maybe Saturday. Not sure yet. G'bye, kids!

Album Review - Crack The Skye

Mastodon is a rather complicated band. They fail to fit into any specific genre, as their unique blend of Prog. Rock, Symphonic Metal, and Power Metal brings out a very imaginative sound that completely separates them from the norm. Crack The Skye is the latest endeavor from Mastodon, and it's by far their best work.

From the beginning, Crack The Skye proves to be something truly amazing. The opener, Oblivion, captures your attention with some amazing blending of the three different vocalists. They switch off seamlessly, and quickly lead themselves into a vocalized game of Catch. Tossing the parts back and forth, leading into the chorus with glory. This awesomeness continue through the entire album, and the occasional screaming portion doesn't take away from the smoothness of their voices. On lyrics; there is a wonderful performance out of whichever member(s) of the band do the writing. The words fall straight into one another, and form amazing stories and messages that are simple, but oh so sweet.

The thing that pulls Mastodon away from the typical metal band so much are the instrumentals, and they continue that in this new addition to their discography. The guitarists play like they really, truly want to be heard, and nothing quite beats the Banjo solo at the beginning of Divinations. The drummer doesn't abuse his bass too much, as many other metal bands are victim of (*cough* Cradle of Filth *cough*), and keeps some good variation in his playing, but never gets boring. None of the instrumentalists that also have vocal parts (Three of the four members) seem to be hindered by the multiple parts, although that may have been a recording trick. No matter, it's still kick-ass.

To put it in TL;DR form: Crack The Skye is without doubt, glorious. It will capture your attention from start to finish, and loses quality at very few moments throughout. Get this album, you will not regret it.

Key Tracks:

• Oblivion
• Divinations
• Crack The Skye

I Hate My Life And This Music Makes It Better

Well, as the title of the blog suggests; I listen to a lot of depressing music. Is that a good thing? Sometimes. I enjoy it, even if it does put me in a cruddy mood from time to time. But, one can only have so much depressing music, and it has to be balanced out if you don't want to go off and kill yourself because Evanescence told you to. While it may seem like almost all music these days talks about some kind of depressing occurrence like a breakup, or maybe you were simple called a "fag" at school. Well, believe it or not, in that never ending sea of depressing music, there is some happiness out there.

For myself, that happiness is in My Chemical Romance. While a lot of people are under the misconception that MCR is an "emo" band that promotes self-harm and suicide in their lyrics, it's actually quite the opposite. Not only does the band often say that they want to "save kids lives", their lyrics are very peppy and encouraging. With lyrics like "Singin' songs that make you slit your wrists/It isn't that much fun," or "I am not afraid to keep on living/I am not afraid to walk this world alone," or of course, the ever amazing bridge of their single Welcome To The Black Parade:

"Do or die! You'll never make me! Because the world will never take my heart! Though you try, you'll never break me! We want it all, we wanna play this part. I wont explain, or say I'm sorry! I'm unashamed! I'm gonna show my scar! Give a cheer, for all the broken! Listen here! Because it's who we are! Just a man, I'm not a hero, just a boy, who wanna sing his song! Just a man, I'm not a hero! I. Don't. Care! We'll carry on!" (Totally wrote that entirely from memory. Hellz yea)

Lyrics like that from MCR, and a plethora of others, always manage to make me feel better whenever I'm feeling like shit. Seriously, ignore anything you hear about them being an emo suicide cult, because that's all bullshit. I find it ironic that they're often known as the opposite of what they really are, but it's the sad truth.

Unfortunately, there are MCR fans that mistake their lyrics for ones that promote self-harm. In 2008, a young british girl, Hannah Bond, hung herself. She had apparently been slitting her wrists for some time prior to her suicide, and had developed quite the obsession with My Chemical Romance. A tragic incident, really. But, the Daily Mail, a british tabloid, accused MCR of being a "suicide-cult", and that "The Black Parade" is a place where Emos believe they would go when they die.

lolwut

I didn't think it was possible to suck that much at reporting, and actually have a reporting job.

Seriously, though, don't listen to any of that bull. MCR really is a band that want's to save your life. If you're ever feeling like crap, for whatever reason, don't hesitate to find some My Chemical Romance to brighten your day.

Suggested songs from My Chemical Romance to make your life better (But the others are all good, too):

• The End./Dead!
• Welcome To The Black Parade
• Famous Last Words
• The Sharpest Lives
• Give 'Em Hell, Kid
• Cemetery Drive
• I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
• Teenagers
• House Of Wolves

Enjoy your life! Suicide is cowardly and selfish! ... and cutting yourself is just dumb.

Album Review - Evangelion

Behemoth is typically regarded as one of the best Death Metal bands to come out of Europe. Their heavier-than-the-Earth-itself musical style has captured metal heads everywhere since their debut. Evangelion is no exception. From the very first track, you are treated to intense guitar riffs, the sound of double-basses being slammed till their pedals break, and Nergal's intense roaring, all at the top of their game.

The lyrics - something the band has always been known for - continue to be impressive. Nergal's writing succeeds in being cryptic, but not so much that you can't understand what the song's subject is. The writing is beautiful, and when you can actually understand what the hell Nergal is wailing, it's a thrill to hear. Speaking of Nergal; I've never heard a better roar. His deep, and louder than hell voice carries on wonderfully throughout the entire album. It still amazes me that this guy is only 32, yet has such an incredibly deep roar.

To talk instrumentals; Orion, Nergal, and Seth all give an amazing show. The few solos that dot the album are both written and executed amazingly, and really show the skills of the guitar trio. Otherwise; it's the cliché heavy-metal "NUHNUHNUHNUHNUHNUHNUHNUH" throughout pretty much the entire album, which was a bit of a letdown, but it can be made up for. I can say only a few things about the drums; Inferno must have the strongest legs and arms in Death Metal history. I have yet to hear someone abuse their snare drum more than in this album, and it would not surprise me in the least if he had to replace his bass pedals on more than one occasion while recording, or the drums themselves.

Overall; Evangelion is an absolute triumph of metal. It's a tremendous feat for the band, and is definitely a 1-up from their last album, The Apostasy, which was mediocre at it's best moments.

Now, if only they could stop all of the controversy with the video "Ov Fire and the Void."

Key Tracks:

• Shemhamforash
• Ov Fire And The Void
• Defiling Morality Ov Black God
  

Behemoth "Ov Fire And The Void" from Metal Blade Records on Vimeo.

It Starts.

What starts? Hell if I know.

Oh, wait, this blog starts... yea, that was it.

In that case; Greetings, my miniscule amount (Zero as of this post) of readers! This is I Hate My Life and this Music Tells Me Why, a blog dedicated to the dark, stingy, and sometimes depressing music I listen to! No, I'm not a totally goffik Satan-loving-blood-drinking moron, don't worry.

Now, what music is that, you might ask? Anything heavy, double-bass filled, and loud, pretty much. My iPod is populated with almost every subgenre of Metal, even the completely random "Blackened Death Metal" (Seriously, WTF?). That doesn't mean I wont open myself up to other genres, however. I'm a huge fan of Alt. Rock bands like My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, and Papa Roach. Punk Rock is also a personal favorite of mine, with bands like Green Day and The Offspring. Otherwise, though, I don't listen to much, Michael Jackson works his way into the mix here-and-now, but he's the only exception I'll ever make for Pop.

My brain tells me that at this point, you're thinking, "What the fuck is this kid saying?" Well, I have your answer! ... sorta.

This blog is all about the music that plagues my ears every day, good or bad, and will consist of many things: Album reviews, general news, some random features or "Top 5s", all complete with my own personal opinion on the subject matter, because you all really care about that... right? Some personal non-musical things will be littered about, as well. When will the first REAL post be? Soon enough. Probably later tonight when I can't hear Fallout 3 calling me from the next room.

The first actual post will be a review of the album Evangelion by BEHEMOTH.